so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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