I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
