One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
