Non-Jews are for practice
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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