i may or may not be watching the land before time
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
