pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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