can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize