actually, I'm a sock model
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I love you. Go after that dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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