Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
