my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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