He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
