We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
