She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
His hands were made for my vagina.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
