i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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