just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
