I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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