apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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