i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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