Me too!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
