you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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