So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize