my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize