It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
