I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
