It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
