Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
my poor anus
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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