I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
