You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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