The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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