just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have demons in me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
