Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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