it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is wine microwaveable?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
