i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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