My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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