I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
