im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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