Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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