I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
