I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
