I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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