i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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