I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
