Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
