his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
