just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
