Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize