Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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