I accidentally had phone sex last night
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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