is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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