how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
