We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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