Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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