hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
