Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize