Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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