Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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