btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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