one word: firstdatebathroomanal
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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