Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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