So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
