8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
