He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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