so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
