I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
