This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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