Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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